Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
When are your genitals available?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
