i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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