benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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