Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
