That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
