he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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