Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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