i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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