I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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