I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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