And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
is wine microwaveable?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
