the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
