"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
