How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
