Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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