Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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