I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
