I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
