Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
