Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
