My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Can I color on your dick again?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize