I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
