Apparently you make a good broom.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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