and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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