you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
