so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize