butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
