she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
