make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
