I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
