i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize