if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
