Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
