Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
pray to the hookup gods
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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