I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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