I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm too high and old for this...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
