He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
