Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
