wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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