i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you inspire me to be a worse person
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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