I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
