haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
