dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
