So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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