is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This house was built for laser tag.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
