I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
