Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
