Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you guys were way drunker than both of me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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