Soap is not a condiment
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
