In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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