They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
