i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
