so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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