do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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