Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
