So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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