I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
