My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
